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Nowillbashi speaks out about 'doctored' reality |
In a surprise move, our glorious and munificent leader Nowillbashi has responded to rumours that have circulated following the Nowillistan National Olympic Games, held in July in a field in Devon. Improper and scandalious allegations were made by those lackeys of the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders, Auto Express, in which it was claimed that the knobbly kness of our scrumbumptious and delectable leader were in fact fake knees.  The stunt knees seen here in situ, augmenting his delightfulness Nowillbashis alrerady perfect countenanceThis is not the case. Far from being fake knees, they were in fact highly professional stunt knees, brought in at great expense, to present our glorious leader in the most positive light. Artistic Director of the Nowillistan State National Olympic Games, Mr 'Dave' Clemo, explained that the purpose of the stunt knees was "to achieve the most theatric effects for the benefit of the whole performance". The stunt knees are in fact a perfect representation of the inherrent truth of Nowillbashis patellar protuberances, and his benign dictatorness has in no way been devalued by their appearance.In a further statement, the use of pre-recorded diesel in the State Bonfire was also clarified. Due to atmospheric conditions and summer precipitation levels, a decision was made to use pre-recorded diesel in the State Bonfire, the culmination of the opening celebrations at the Games, held in July in a field in Devon. In no way did the use of pre-recorded diesel alter the unalterable truth of the greatness and great wondefulnes of the Nowillistan State National Olympic Games, an event so wonderous that it is held once a year, and so challenging that only Nowillistani citizens are deemed apropriate entrants.
Pre-recorded diesel in no way negated the spectacle of the Nowillistan State National Olympic Games
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